Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize