It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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