Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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