my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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