Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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