is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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