I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
