On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
