Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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