i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
