Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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