Jerry, you need to find god
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
