It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The police scanner is talking about you again....
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
