Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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