we're blogging at a bar
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
