Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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