dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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