He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
