Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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