some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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