Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
