wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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