You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
