I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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