Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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