Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
