Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
