Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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