i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize