Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
