so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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