I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
