Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize