remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
