my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
