Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize