tell your sister to shave her snatch
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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