I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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