did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
