Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
