It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize