would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
