You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
