you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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