My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he was CRYING into my vagina
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
