i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
