I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
someone owes me an orgasm
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
