nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sex in a hospital.. check
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
