What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
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It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
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I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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