remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
How's work?
Spinning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
