Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
