I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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