they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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