I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is it because I queefed?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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