her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize