She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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