Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
