Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
