like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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