That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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